Archive for the Family
Sunday, May 12th, 2013
Dear birth mother on Mothers Day
A few years ago, I wrote several posts about our adoption story. (They start here.) So you’ve heard from me, and I hope you’ve realized our gratitude to God for bringing Talitha to us and us to Talitha.
What you might not have heard yet is Talitha’s own heart.
This morning, she got tired of waiting for me to finish sleeping late and slipped onto the bed beside me with a kiss and a perfectly chosen card, and even better, her own thoughtful note written inside.
Later this afternoon, she sat on the living room floor leaning against the sofa where her daddy was sitting. She was intent on something she was writing on her computer.
Only later, when I opened my own computer, did I realize what she’d done. I went straight up to her room to hug her and thank her.
I suspect that some of you are birth mothers whose children are in another family now. This has been a hard day for you. I pray you might receive Talitha’s words of love and thanks as if they had been written directly to you.
Dear Birth Mother,
I have no idea what you are doing right now or even where you are. But know, you are on my heart, especially today. Today I celebrate not just one mother, but two. Two mothers who have been there for me in different ways. One has nurtured and taken care of me since I was 2 months and the other is you. . . .
Saturday, May 11th, 2013
What I learned by being my Mother’s daughter
I suppose none of us ever grasps all that God works in our lives through our mothers. I believe that is true even when growing up is hard. I’m thankful that so much blessing has come from my mother in the midst of our normal family–in other words, we are all very imperfect.
And so on this Mothers Day, with thanks to God for Mother, I share this classic post with you again.
Months before the celebration of Mother and Daddy’s 40th wedding, my sister Pamela dreamed of a quilt to honor Daddy and Mother and to express thanks for the years God had given them together.
Pamela recruited squares from each of the sisters and sisters-in-law. . . . Then Pamela assembled, quilted, and stenciled the gift for Daddy and Mother.
As I look over the squares of this quilt, from oldest child to youngest of us 10 children of George and Pam Henry, I’m reminded of a few of the things I’ve learned by being my mother’s daughter. . . .
Read and/or listen to the rest of “What I Learned by Being My Mother’s Daughter”. You’ll also find photos of all the family quilt blocks, the illustrations for my thoughts.
Happy Mothers Day, dear Mother! I love you.
Monday, April 15th, 2013
Retired?
Our Bethlehem family blessed us last night with a grand recommissioning service and celebration marking the end of our 33 years as a pastor’s family and the beginning of our next chapter.
My words to our brothers and sisters there touched on the parallels between Bethlehem’s growth and our family’s.
In 1980, Bethlehem’s Sunday congregation fit well in the old Sanctuary, with elbow room to spare. That summer, we Pipers arrived as a family of 5—2 parents and 3 sons.
You who were part of Bethlehem then, I thank you for making this an easy place to become a pastor’s wife. I don’t recall any times when someone expected me to be or do some certain thing because that’s what a pastor’s wife does.
Instead, you offered me options for ministry and were willing to let me pray and talk it over with my husband and then tell you yes or no. You gave me freedom to be wife and mother and to be involved as I felt God leading me, both within the church and elsewhere. I hope that all of you now will bless Cara in the same way.
As Bethlehem grew to multiple services and built a new sanctuary, our family grew too. We added another son and a daughter and so we were a family of 7—2 parents and 5 children. The same year we adopted our youngest child, we also gained our first daughter-in-law—the beginning of the years of sending our sons one by one to their own homes with their brides. And Bethlehem was sending more of its sons and daughters to their new homes, all around the world to spread a passion for the supremacy of God through Jesus Christ.
When Talitha was a first grader, Bethlehem’s old sanctuary came down. That year while the new education building was going up, there was no Sunday school. So we used the Children Desiring God 1st grade curriculum at home—the ABC’s of God. Talitha still remembers rearranging the letters of one long word until she got incomprehensible—however much we learn about God and no matter how well we know him, there is always much more.
That education building completed the downtown campus as we see it now. And Bethlehem has multiplied from that one campus to three. Our family has multiplied too, from 5 of us at the beginning of our time at Bethlehem to 23 now—we 2 are rich with 21 sons and daughter, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren.
Bethlehem’s building with its changes is a symbol that touches just the surface of how much our lives have been interwoven with you brothers and sisters for these 33 years.
I have a gift for you, Johnny. We know that the best gift a person can give often is one that person would also like to have. So this gift to you is to go over our fireplace so that we both can have before us reminders of our life here.
Dear friends, no one but God knows what a treasure your prayers for us have been all these years. Now I ask you to pray that we will be—as Mary Schmuland said to me a few weeks ago—“Retired? No—refired.”
Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Home Grown World Christians
I’ve been in Orlando for The Gospel Coalition 2013. I led a breakout session in the pre-conference, which had a missions focus.
My session was “My Missionary Call: Missed or Misunderstood?”
One of the resources I recommended is an article I wrote in 2002: Home Grown World Christians. Since then, our children have become adults, but the encouragements and ideas haven’t really aged.
I hope this will be helpful as you pray for and spend time with children you love, whether they are yours or part of your larger life circle.
What other suggestions would you add?
Saturday, March 16th, 2013
Brushing up on the classics
Pop quiz!
Who was Theseus? How did the Aegean Sea get its name?
If you can’t remember, perhaps our 8-year-old grandson can remind you.
Wednesday, February 6th, 2013
Black History: Talitha’s DVD recommendations
(Originally posted 2 years ago, and worth mentioning again.)
These DVDs are recommended by our daughter Talitha off the top of her head. She wants to make clear that there are other really good movies too.
I agree with her in recommending these.
As with all movies, it would be wise for parents to preview before watching with their children, especially considering the tension, language, and frightening experiences that are part of stories from this swath of our history.
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Glory Road — Story of “the groundbreaking achievement of Don Haskins, who coached the 1965-66 team from Texas Western University to the NCAA championship, using the first-ever all-black lineup in the championship game and forever changing the rules of college basketball. Texas Western’s underdog season is followed from anxious start to glorious finish. . . . This typically wholesome Disney film doesn’t flinch from the harsh realities of racial tension (including player beatings and vandalized motel rooms) that Texas Western’s black players had to struggle against as their victories began to draw national attention” (Amazon.com review).
Selma, Lord, Selma — It’s 1965, segregation is still the order of the day in the South, Martin Luther King Jr. is leading voter-registration drives, and an Alabama schoolgirl gets caught up in the civil rights movement. . . .Being forced to guess the number of jellybeans in a jar in order to vote and being gassed and beaten for marching are just some of the indignities Sheyann and her friends endure. Parents should know that two prominent characters are murdered. . . . Appropriate for kids 7 and up with adult guidance” (Amazon.com review). Based on the memoir of the same title by Sheyann Webb.
And the Children Shall Lead — “In 1964 segregation is a reality in Catesville, Mississippi, but 12-year-old Rachel doesn’t notice it because she has many white friends. When a group of civil rights activists comes to town, the tension between black and white citizens grows. It’s now up to Rachel and her friends to persuade the adults to overcome the racial barriers that divide them” (Amazon.com review)
The Great Debaters — “Inspired by real events, The Great Debaters reveals one of the seeds of the Civil Rights Movement in its story of Melvin B. Tolson and his champion 1935 debate club from the all-African-American Wiley College in Texas. . . . The film is also about the state of race relations in America at the height of the Great Depression. With lynchings of black men and women a common form of entertainment and black subjugation for many rural whites, the idea of talented and highly intelligent African-American young people learning to think on their feet during debates would seem almost a hopeless endeavor” (Amazon.com review).
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Tuesday, January 1st, 2013
How do you feel?
Beginning August 1, Jason Meyer was Associate Pastor of Preaching and Vision at Bethlehem Baptist alongside my husband, the Pastor of Preaching and Vision. Now, as a result of resounding congregational approval, as of yesterday those roles 
are switched. Now Jason is Pastor for Preaching and Vision with Johnny as his associate.
This is the next-to-last step in our transition to our next chapter, when–as of the end of March–Johnny no longer is part of the pastoral staff of Bethlehem. We are thrilled with God’s guidance and work in all of this.
Last weekend was Johnny’s last sermon as “senior” pastor. Last night, during his last minutes in that role, he led Bethlehem into the New Year in communion together at the Lord’s table.
As we walked into the house at 12:30 am, he asked, “How does it feel to be the wife of an associate pastor?” Considering that I’ve spent exactly half my life as the wife of one man in one position in one place, that could have been a jarring question. But it wasn’t.
I answered, “Feels just the same. It’s you that matters, you who are my husband.”
One of the things about the he who is my husband is that he’s a man who expresses thoughts of love and life and life events and changes with poetry, as he did in his end-of-the-year blog post at Desiring God.
Thursday, August 9th, 2012
Had I but known . . . Help me!
Less than a month from now is the 40th anniversary of my becoming a mother. Had I but known that 40 years into mothering there would still be so many things I wish I knew. . . . There are so many things I thought I knew, but I didn’t really. There are so many things I hadn’t even thought about knowing, things waiting to bless me or to blindside me.
That’s my speaking topic, especially as it regards adoption, at Together for Adoption 2012 in Atlanta, September 14-15–what I didn’t know:
- If we just love our child enough . . .
- Some children are added by birth and some by adoption–it’s a simple as that . . .
- We will treat our adopted child just as we do the ones who were born to us . . .
- We will never blame adoption for difficulties our child may have . . .
- and . . . and . . . and . . .
I need your help. If you’re a parent by birth or by adoption or both, I need your help based on your experience. If you know someone who’s a parent by birth or adoption, I need your help based on your observations.
- What do you wish you’d known as you launched into parenting, whether by adoption or by birth?
- What have you learned or are you experiencing that’s very different than what you’d expected, whether happy or hard?
- What were you totally ignorant about at the beginning that you’re learning by experience?
- What unexpected things have blessed you?
- What unexpected things have blindsided you?
Your comments will prime the pump of my own thoughts as I prepare, but I will in no way compromise your privacy. In fact, if it makes it easier, feel free to respond anonymously via the comments to this post, or by using the comment button above to send me an email.
(In the spirit of “What I didn’t know,” I’ll announce in the next couple of days a gift that I’ll send to 2 commenters, randomly chosen.)
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If you make a purchase after you click on a product link in a post here or after you use an on-line shopping link in the sidebar at my travel blog, I receive a small commission, which costs you nothing extra. I recommend only items that I think will be of interest to my readers and that I probably have used personally or wish I did.
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Sunday, June 10th, 2012
Together for Adoption 2012: win a registration
Adoption changed our lives. A couple of years ago, I wrote a series of posts telling some of our family’s adoption story. It begins here.
We knew lots of people who had adopted, and their experiences had taught us a lot. What I didn’t know, though, was how much we still would be learning now, 16 years into being an adoptive family.
That’s what I plan to talk about when I speak at Together for Adoption 2012 in Atlanta, September 14-15–What I Wish I’d Known.
The organizers have graciously given me registrations to share with 6 of you. Here’s what you need to do:
- Visit the Together for Adoption website and look over the conference information. If you subscribe to the Together for Adoption blog, that earns you an additional entry.
- Use your social media outlets to tell others about this chance to win a registration. Each additional social medium earns you an additional entry into the drawing. For example, if you were to link to this contest post from your blog and from Twitter and from Facebook, that would be 3 entries. (If you don’t use any social media, you may use email to send a bunch of friends the link to this blog post.)
- Comment once at this post to let me know you have completed #1 and #2 and to report any of the optional extras you’ve completed.
- Deadline is 11:59 pm cst, Monday, June 18.
I hope I’ll see you in Atlanta.
(If you want a headstart, I recommend Reclaiming Adoption, edited by Dan Cruver.)
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Subscribe to NoelPiper.com by using the one of the Subscribe links to the right or by clicking here.
If you make a purchase after you click on a product link in a post here or after you use an on-line shopping link in the sidebar at my travel blog, I receive a small commission, which costs you nothing extra. I recommend only items that I think will be of interest to my readers and that I probably have used personally or wish I did.
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Please visit my travel blog too–Tell Me When To Pack.
Sunday, May 13th, 2012
What I learned from my Mother
Months before the celebration of Mother and Daddy’s 40th wedding, my sister Pamela dreamed of a quilt to honor Daddy and Mother and to express thanks for the years God had given them together.
Pamela recruited squares from each of the sisters and sisters-in-law. . . . Then Pamela assembled, quilted, and stenciled the gift for Daddy and Mother.
As I look over the squares of this quilt, from oldest child to youngest of us 10 children of George and Pam Henry, I’m reminded of a few of the things I’ve learned by being my mother’s daughter. . . . (Read and/or listen to the rest of “What I Learned by Being My Mother’s Daughter”-and there are photos of all the family quilt blocks.)
Happy Mothers Day, dear Mother! I love you.
Wednesday, April 11th, 2012
That’s not fair!
Our son, Barnabas, comments in World Magazine online about winning and losing. He begins:
Recently, as we were flipping through radio stations in the car, my 6-year-old daughter heard the song “We Are the Champions” by Queen. She asked what a champion is, and we started talking about winning and losing. At one point in the conversation she said, “Winning isn’t fair because not everyone can do it.” Her response is, sadly, quite common. (Read the rest of what he has to say about the idea that “everyone is a winner.”)
In contrast, there are cultures where life’s primary impetus or “encouragement” is shame. In such a culture, this would be true for children in school, for spouses toward each other, for employers toward employees. It would be true in every arena.
But let’s just stay in the child-rearing part of life’s arena, since that’s what Barnabas is focusing on. To give you an idea of what I mean when I name shame as prime motivator, here’s what one Chinese mother says:
The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, “Hey fatty—lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of “health” and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. . . .
Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, “You’re lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you.” By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they’re not disappointed about how their kids turned out.
So, there are the two precipices to avoid:
1. Everyone is a winner.
2. You are nothing, because someone else is performing better than you.
That mesa is not even the right place to be maneuvering, trying to stay somewhere between the two treacherous precipices.
What do I want to say instead to a child I love or on whose upbringing I have some influence? I think of many things, but here’s one way to say it.
“The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable” (Is. 40:28).
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
Your God, your Creator, your Father loves you and knows you better than anyone else can ever know you. He wants you to be blessed, happy. He also knows what he wants you to achieve, and he offers you magnificent, out-of-this-world rewards. His desires for you?
- Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
- Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
- Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
- Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
- Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
- Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
- Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
- Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven . . . . (Matt. 5:3-12)
Wednesday, April 4th, 2012
Compassionate heart
There are many reasons I thank God for our Talitha. The one I’m thinking about right now is this: I love to watch her tender heart in action. I see that compassion especially when she’s reaching out to young children. Whether it’s nieces and nephews or strangers, none views her as a stranger for long.
Last year, we visited Redeemer Bible Church one vacation Sunday. They had visitors representing Compassion International. At the end of the service, Talitha made a beeline to Compassion’s table at the back of the sanctuary. By the time I made my way there, she was clasping to her heart a photo of Juan. “Please, please, please. May I sponsor this sweet little boy in Guatemala?”
Now she writes to Juan, and he writes to her. A few months ago, a translator sent Talitha this message on Juan’s behalf:
When he saw you [a photo], his face lit up in smiles and tears of happiness. He asked God to meet you one day in person, to be able to speak to you.
So you can imagine the “Please, please, please” that followed when Talitha found out there’s a Compassion Sponsor’s trip to Guatemala in July, when she will indeed get to meet Juan, Lord willing.
And she invited me to come too. A mother doesn’t take it lightly when her teenager wants to be with her. So both of us are preparing for Guatemala.
Talitha’s excitement about Compassion’s ministry doesn’t stop with sponsoring and traveling. On her own, she’s taken the initiative to set up and man a Compassion information table at Bethlehem Downtown campus on Compassion Sunday weekend–before and after the service Saturday evening, April 21, and the Sunday morning services April 22.
Please stop by to pick up information about Compassion International. If God is leading you to sponsor a child, you’ll find packets there to choose from, so you can sign up on the spot. It would be hard to measure what a blessing that would be to Talitha, to see you blessing a child who lives in a difficult situation.
Request to you:
1. If you already are sponsoring a child through Compassion, please comment here to let us know.
2. If you’re familiar with Compassion, and can help Talitha at the Compassion table Saturday evening or Sunday morning, April 21 and 22, she’d love to hear from you.
