Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
At the Together for Adoption conference last year I talked about what I didn’t know or fully realize before adopting. Beforehand, I called on blog friends for their experience. I’ve just reread the dozens of comments to that post and find myself once again helped and deeply moved.
Those stories represent what I’ve observed at the T4A conferences–families who have moved beyond the rose-colored glasses assumptions about parenting, and adoption in particular.
In reality, none of us knows all that parenting will bring into our lives, both of grief and gladness. And sometimes it’s difficult to see beyond our own four walls to the bigger reality: God was the first adoptive parent, and adoption–even for God–included suffering.
As Dan Cruver writes at the Together for Adoption blog:
Romanticizing adoption is so very easy and tempting to do.
But adoption always involves suffering. Just ask any birthmother or any child who is one of three hundred orphans in a Chinese orphanage or any adoptive couple who has lived with infertility for years or any adoptive couple who is experiencing the high-ups and low-downs of the adoption process. Sometimes the suffering is deeply intense and ongoing—like that of an orphan languishing each day in a nightmarish orphanage—while other times it’s the heavy heart of the couple waiting to bring their child home. [Read the rest]
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