Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

God did it first

Together for Adoption

At the Together for Adoption conference last year I talked about what I didn’t know or fully realize before adopting. Beforehand, I called on blog friends for their experience. I’ve just reread the dozens of comments to that post  and find myself once again helped and deeply moved.

Those stories represent what I’ve observed at the T4A conferences–families who have moved beyond the rose-colored glasses assumptions about parenting, and adoption in particular.

In reality, none of us knows all that parenting will bring into our lives, both of grief and gladness. And sometimes it’s difficult to see beyond our own four walls to the bigger reality: God was the first adoptive parent, and adoption–even for God–included suffering.

As Dan Cruver writes at the Together for Adoption blog:

Romanticizing adoption is so very easy and tempting to do.

But adoption always involves suffering. Just ask any birthmother or any child who is one of three hundred orphans in a Chinese orphanage or any adoptive couple who has lived with infertility for years or any adoptive couple who is experiencing the high-ups and low-downs of the adoption process. Sometimes the suffering is deeply intense and ongoing—like that of an orphan languishing each day in a nightmarish orphanage—while other times it’s the heavy heart of the couple waiting to bring their child home. [Read the rest]

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3 Responses to “God did it first”

  1. I am a two-time T4A conference attendee and I have garnered so much wisdom from attending. I am in the process (LONG) of adopting a sister-brother sibling pair from Haiti. I am trying to avoid romanticizing adoption as much as possible so I will (hopefully) be more prepared to parent two children who come from a hard place. My Haitian children are older (10 and 7). This will come with its own set of trials, no doubt. But, I am completely secure knowing that my God will equip my family and complete this good work He has called us to.

    How I wish I could attend the T4A conference this year. But, it is not to be. Maybe another year.

    Thank you Noel Piper and Dan Cruver for allowing God to work through you to encourage and equip those coming after you as adoptive parents.

    In Christ,
    Michelle

    • God is good to give us help in preparing and good in not letting us know all that will come. And bless you, yes, our security is God–knowing that he loves our children more than we ever can.

  2. “In reality, none of us knows all that parenting will bring into our lives, both of grief and gladness.” This is so true. We knew God was calling us to adopt. I had birthed six children, but God so clearly brought Katya to us. We knew it was going to be challenging, but we had no idea of he grief and gladness that we would experience and continue to experience in this process. But, it’s not only with Katya, but with our others as well. Parenting is the greatest lesson in “dying to self” I have received. Thank you for helping me embrace it with joy!

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