Sunday, August 19th, 2012

Giveaway to two who help me

Thank you so much for your responses when I asked for help. Don’t stop now!

You’ve reminded me of things I want to talk about at Together for Adoption 2012, You’ve given me more things to think about and helped clarify some things for me. Your stories make me thank God for his strength and wisdom that we need so desperately as we raise our children, whether adopted or born into our families.

Chosen By LoveI promised that in a “couple of days” I’d tell you about a giveaway. Sorry, a couple of days has stretched into ten thanks to my procrastination. Also, Talitha and I are volunteering at a Joni and Friends Family Retreat this week. But I do want to bring to your attention a new book I received recently. As I wrote at the Amazon page for Chosen by Love, by Tom Jaski:

Tonight, my husband and I both read Chosen by Love. We really appreciated the careful way Tom Jaski showed parallels between human adoption and divine adoption. Before we adopted our daughter, I knew what the Bible says about God’s adopting us into his family. But the details and reality came alive as we lived adoption at the human level. Chosen by Love is a good reminder, and with Scripture references.

Tom Jaski is offering copies of Chosen by Love to 2 of you who answer my question: What do you wish you had known? Those who have commented are already in the running. But if you have more to say, or if you haven’t responded yet, please read the original post and help me!

The deadline will be midnight CDT, Thursday, 30 August. After that, 2 commenters will be randomly chosen to receive the book.

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5 Responses to “Giveaway to two who help me”

  1. I didn’t know that my unbelief would be so painfully on display once I had kids. To them. To me. To my husband. To others that spent any real time with me.
    God wasn’t so shocked at the realities, but I was.

    I am more selfish than I’d originally thought I was.
    I am more impatient than I thought.
    I love me and sleep and hot coffee more than the short people who wake me up.
    I did not know that, in fact, I do NOT have what it takes to pull this task off. (I really thought I did!!)
    I didn’t know my ego was the size that it is!

    I didn’t know that raising them and watching them become who they ARE would require so much of letting go of trying to press them into the mold of who I wanted them to be.

    I didn’t know how profoundly prenatal and early post-natal neglect could affect a child’s ability to relax emotionally, to learn easily and to function within age appropriate norms in general.

    I didn’t know anything about special education, physical therapy, occupational therapy, hearing aids, speech therapy, IEPs.

    I didn’t know that when we adopted internationally, it really would take a team of friends and professionals to help all of us adjust, heal and get on with our new life as a family.

    I didn’t know that my sweet African babies could so be hurt and damaged in places that I couldn’t reach.

    I didn’t know that ‘special needs’ could be invisible.

    I also didn’t know that God would be kind with me in my flaws.
    I didn’t know the parent-like way that He loves me…… mothering has given me a peek.
    I didn’t know that I could relax a lot more because He has my kids’ backs way more than I ever could.

    I didn’t know that I would learn more from a preschool bible curriculm (the ABC’s of God) as the teacher than they ever would as the home educated students!

    I didn’t know that I would find so much joy in being with them as adults.

    And now that the majority of my kids are officially adults, I’m beginning to look ahead and I realize that I do not know what to do with myself when they are all gone. I’m looking around the landscape of life and realize that I’ve given the last 27 years of me to the effort of them. So….. now what? I dove into the full-time, stay-at-home, homeschooling mom with a no-holds-barred gusto. Motherhood occupied every hour of every day. Really…… now what?

    Still learning.

  2. (I’m writing as an adoptee and not as an adopting parent. I’m also writing about “what I wish to know” and not just “what I wish I had known.” Hope that’s okay!) It’d be wonderful to know your thoughts on how to process biological parents/family if and when they re-surface in the adoptee’s life years down the road. I subscribed to Russell Moore’s understanding of adoption as a radical/definitive change akin to our adoption in Christ, but things became very confusing when my biological relatives resurfaced and I had no idea how I was supposed to process or respond to them. Did they automatically have sort of semi-parent/sibling/aunt status or was it appropriate to think of them as I would any other stranger? If the former, how would this fit into a theology of adoption like Moore’s?

  3. Which family retreat are you STM’s at? I wish you could come to the one in Canada – we’re having the 2nd annual next week here in Ontario.
    We have 1 STM coming from Indiana and another from California, both repeats – we’d love to see you and Talitha!

    • Nowadays, my usual retreat is the MN Joni and Friends Family Retreat. Before there was one here in MN, I worked a couple of summers at the Chicagoland JAF retreat and the East Tennessee retreat (which was held in GA).

      When we were on sabbatical in England a few years ago, I volunteered at an accessible holiday, sponsored by Through the Roof, a JAF affiliate in the UK.

      I’ve been on 2 wheels-related trips to Cameroon, and since then there have been 2 family retreats. I’d love to be at one of those sometime.

  4. [...] readers who helped me remember all I don’t know when you responded to my requests here and here. If you haven’t read through all those comments, I encourage you to take advantage of the [...]

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